using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
