found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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