Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
