There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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