Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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