First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
