Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
