New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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