my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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