im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
