I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
