Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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