just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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