thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
