You're a womanizer and a bitch.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
