There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
