I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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