I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
