Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
