Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The struggles of a small town man whore
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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