Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I want her autograph on my taint
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
