yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
