Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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