I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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