I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
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Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
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Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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