we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize