well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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