When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
tell me about the eggs
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
