I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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