I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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