If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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