And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
