let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
