i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
