Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if you like me you must not know who I am
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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