As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize