We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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