wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
