honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
