we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize