Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
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