Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(