I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken