giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?