OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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