we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
