I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
