i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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