Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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