I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
