Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
