If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
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the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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