I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
