I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
