i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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