I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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