that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
