Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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