The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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