I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
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Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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