i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
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I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
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Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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